im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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