i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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