who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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