Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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