so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
