He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You took a bar mat shot.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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