lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize