I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
