No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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