party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
