I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
