i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
