yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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