it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
