Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
