Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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