im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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