The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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