I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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