also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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