I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
