You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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