i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want her autograph on my taint
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
