i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
