Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
