my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
