She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize