I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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