That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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