Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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