I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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