I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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