I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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