I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize