the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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