OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
