He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
