i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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