Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
