I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
