Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What a dumb baby whore.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize