Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I need a burrito and a hug.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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