omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
