She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We are two peas in an std pod
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
