i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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