Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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