bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
