She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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