Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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