I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
