i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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