Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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