there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
