we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
