so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
