Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
