Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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