there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
