i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
