There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
