i think i have herpe
just one?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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