So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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