when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
